Lately I have been finding myself asking
'Will this depression stop me from succeeding my dreams?'
'Will having Depression and A.D.D. change anything?'
'how long will i have to take these pills?'
I have realized that recently they have become darker.
'Can i scratch my scars back open?'
'will anyone want me now that I am damaged?'
'What would happen if i took all these pills at once?'
Depression is a mental illness
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Some days i don't want to eat.
some I just want to die.
A.D.D. stands for Attention Deficit Disorder
It makes it hard to focus one just one thing
and i usually lose sleep over it
It always make me sad when I think
'I'll never be like the other kids.'
but then again why would I want to?
Last night I found myself
sitting in an empty room,
which was mine 3 weeks ago,
without any lights on.
Tears were rolling down my face
for the first time in 2 months.
I had my razor in my hand
'I would be doing everyone a favor.'
I looked up to the window
that lay on the opposite side of the room.
One the window sat a butterfly.
It's wings flapped showing its beautiful colors.
A smile danced across my face.
I looked down at my scars and stood up.
I threw away the razor and thought,
'Why do i care if no one wants me?'
'I want me.'
'I am stronger than this.'
My name is Katlyn.
I have struggled with depression for 3 years
I have had A.D.D. since I was nine.
I've been fighting taking the pills for my whole life
I've been cutting for 2 years.
I haven't cut myself in one month
and for the first time in my life
I have someone who is proud of me.